I heard a song this morning by a band, of which I personally know the girl who is married to the lead singer. (Side note that this girl is absolute long blonde hair artistic perfection). They've been together for YEARS, since at least 2003. I can't imagine having the maturity to be with someone since that young. In 2003, I had still not had a boyfriend. And with all of the winners I've dated, I'm breathing a huge sigh of relief that I'm not with any of them for specifically tailored reasons to each of them. Thinking about who I used to be, I can't imagine why anyone would want to even stay friends with me....and they didn't, I have almost no friends from who I used to be.
I've always been so caught up in my own head, making up things in my own head, and taking on other people's problems to dangerously consuming levels. I guess I've always felt that I wasn't good enough, or too good, or a multitude of reasons why I never was one of those cool girls I looked up to.
I've never put someone else first, and I think its the time to start.
