The Sweetest Thing

He said, "Its all in your head."

I said, "So is everything," but he didn't get it.

I thought he was a man, but he was just a little boy.

I ain't no Mr. Cool

I played some Missy at Chum's tonight. You may ask me, why were you out on a Monday? Well I will tell you. 'Why Bother?' by Weezer has been my anthem for pretty much the whole day. I've been stressing, and luckily had some great friend support to fall back down on. So thanks Cho, DeeDee, Nicholle, and Nicky.

I've gotten most of my stuff all packed up, I just need to take it over to the new house. I wish I was moving somewhere exciting besides moving into another year of school in West Laf. Its all going to be worth it though. I am currently sipping on a homemade skinny bitch aka a vodka and diet.

Speaking of skinny bitches, I'm on the fast track to losing weight and working on my fitness. I dyed my hair almost black today, because I need a change. I need changes from so many things. I have an interview on Wednesday, and I really hope that I get this job. I need one so badly.

I have a growing collection of thinspiration, such as Olga up there.

I promise, I will come out the victor.

Change is Hard - She & Him

So my sweet little Aubrey moved to Arizona today. Well, left. Ash and I were so sad and we cried for a while. I dedicated a mash-up of Bittersweet Symphony vs. Dirt Off Your Shoulder to Aubbie. I'm so going to miss her, but I am so proud of her!

It was kind of a rough week, which entailed a "Kimmi Rescue Night" by the one and only Ms. Natalie Abell. All I have to say is that I know I'm a good person, and not having tattoos or not being cool (HIP) withstanding, I'm a catch. No more worrying about boys. Period. I am just out to have a good time and be FRIENDS with everyone. I guess I just don't understand enough and can be quite naive. I'm almost excited to see what the future has in store of Miss Kimmi Page. Who am I kidding? I'm really excited to see what the future has in store. Especially since I learned so much about my Zodiac sign today.

Ash is all moved into my apartment, but in a week we have to move to my new house. I took her to Tiffany's tonight to show her that Lafayette can be kind of cool, even on a Sunday. We met some party slugs that just wanted to drink some brew0ski in Tiff's backyard, and the grossest African beetle with pinchers that was luckily already dead. Thank you, Donnie.

Gumdrops, man.


To quote Aubrey, with whom I feel very strongly connected with her dating convictions, "my heart's too big.

& i can't wait to meet someone whos heart's size matches mine."

Gattaca

Watching such a good movie right now. I'm really excited to go out and dance tonight. Aubrey and I are both excited to dance.

I was surfing the inter-webz today and everytime I see this certain profile, I get quite upset because this girl is so dumb.

We had a very lovely girls night last night. We ran out of rum too soon, but all learned how to pose with the perfect pout by saying 'prune.' Very, very fun. We all got hopped up on goofballs pretty fast.

Straight to Hell, boys

I am not cool at all. I feel that people look at me weird when I meet new people due to my lack of coolness.

Single?
I don't really understand how I should feel right now.

Need to pack up the 'ol Homestead and mosey down the 'ol dusty trail.

This is so stupid. I hate my boring life right now. If I had a job this would all be different. Region, don't kill me for saying this, but I almost want to move to Indianapolis.

Stay just a little bit longer.

I just made an amazing station on Pandora about Bobby Darin's most popular song 'Dream Lover.' Its done nothing but surprise me. So I just had my friend over for coffee and he went outside to smoke on my balcony and noticed a lightning bug on the screen. He flicked it, it was a cockroach. FML. I'm so grossed out.

Bagheera is sleeping on my desk watching me type and listening to 50s music. I couldn't have asked for a cooler cat, pun intended. He's gotten really good at sleeping in cars on car rides instead of being a little squirmy wormy.

First of all, since I collect rubber duckies, I really want these scientist ones. Speaking of science, Aubrey's going away party was last night. In between conversations, tears shed, three tornado sirens, and many things spilled it was a pretty okay time. Unfortunately, some girl got way too shitcanned and puked all over Aub's bed, computer, floor, and Bagheera's litterbox. This morning and afternoon were spent by Aub and I cleaned puke out of a thickly piled carpet. Her room still smells like butt, but hopefully the smell will go away soon so she gets her deposit back before Arizona. I'm going to miss her so much! We haven't been friends for that long, but I consider her one of my bests. I cried for about an hour after I left her apartment, and am getting pretty moist eyed from typing this. We were pretty upset that we missed the pin-up contest at the Road Rockin' Rumble today. I bet she would have won. Tiffany entered and placed in the final round which is amazing! Whoo-hoo for her.

'Rhythm of the Rain' by the Cascades is a badass song. I miss Eric a lot. Its okay though, I'll just be a cat lady until he gets back. I haven't gotten to talk to him much lately, and he's on Chicago time right now, the cheeky bugger.

I'm really excited to move in to my new house! It was built in the late 40s and is simply charming. I have a really big room! Reasons why I want to move out include the cockroach issue, space issue, roommate issue (like because she threw all of my stuff from the front room into a giant pile in the middle of my floor so she could take the couch and the coffee table, thereby crushing some of my hats and other assorted items), the mess issue, and the living across from two sororities issue.

"And I hate arrogant men."

Introducing Bagheera, my kitten. This is my first pet who has hair, so I'm really excited about him. Its been pretty rough learning how to live with him, and then finding out I cannot have him next year. Emily and I made a pact last night to go halfsies on him if he can live at her house. I really like him, but I don't want to risk getting kicked out, you know?

Last night was Eric's last night with me until August 10th. Unlucky for me, because that's how my luck goes, I'm more sure than not that he was roofied last night, due to an obscene vomiting spell, combined with severe ocular pain, and an inability to sleep. I felt really bad for him, but I suppose we should have just stayed in to spend the night together, instead of me being stone-cold sober worrying about Eric being poisoned.

So now I am alone, and expect the blogs to start pouring out whilst I have nothing else to do. I've gotten more done in the past two hours of Eric being gone than I have the entire week he was here! I'm actually doing some laundry right now, among other things, including packing, dishes, and watching a little kitty. I'll be in Indianapolis getting ready for Aubrey's party (with a Mad Scientist theme!). Hopefully we don't run into any skanks tonight when we are going out. It's going to be mighty fun hanging out with Jamie and Emilie. I tried to start a conversation with Lindsey last night, but it didn't really go anywhere, and it took her two hours to send one text. I'll probably never get my cardigan back. I don't know what to do really. Sometimes I really miss talking to her when I look at the cards on my wall, or when I want to talk about Queer As Folk. But then, I just kind of remember how stupid I felt that she always made fun of me for wearing makeup all the time, and if the reason she doesn't like me now is solely due to Eric.

This is going to be a very long time being alone. I really hope it works out. However, I am not taking any crap from anyone. My situation stinks with being unemployed, Aubrey moving across the country, Eric being all over the country, and few close friends left. My phone hasn't rung in three days. Its pretty disparaging.

The world has turned and left me here

I have a new love. Its is this creamer that Aub had. It makes me drink so much more coffee. The weird thing is that I absolutely abhor caramel. It started back when I went to Starbucks everyday in high school. One day, the hot Starbucks guy made my drink with caramel instead of vanilla, and I was less then pleased. Soon all caramel treats were off limits because I couldn't eat them anymore. Even some of the delicious cookies my mom makes for Christmas. So, thank you, Aubrey Aynes, for bringing me back to caramel.

Eric and I went on a very nice walk last night, up around the stadium and around basically the entire Purdue campus. It was a very sorry excuse for exercise, but very, very fun. This morning was a different story. We woke up at 2, and it was my fault. I seriously think that something is wrong with me that I can't wake up before 11am. I even set an alarm today. I don't know what to do anymore. I want a job so bad. I'm a good worker, and it stinks that I got laid off. I need something to do other than mope around this very small apartment. I don't even care about the money right now. I just need something to do!

And speaking of anniversaries, its the 24th anniversary of Eric getting conceived today. HAH.

11:14

I dislike almost everything about my body.



Please don't lie to me. I'm so happy right now.

Finally Woken

I want a job so bad. I'm trying so hard. There's just nothing out there. I feel like Shawn from SLC Punk.

Anyway, my Jeep is getting taken in very soon. I would very much like a VW Golf if Jeepie finally bites it. I hope he doesn't, but I feel like I need to be making funeral plans for him. I had $1400 worth of work done, and he now overheats if the air conditioning isn't on. Note: my air conditioning blows hot air. Not exactly great for an Indiana summer.

I keep having really horrible nightmares. Its why I sleep in so late. I stay up all night afraid to go back to sleep. I've been having nightmares about people I used to know, and about creepy dolls with teeth like Pennywise from It. Its pretty nerve-racking. I'm not scared of Pennywise though, that's just Timmy Curry!

Packing is getting to be a huge bore. I'm not sure how to situate anything in my giant new pink Rubbermaid containers. I'm so bad at this. I set up a sweet Star Wars diorama on my coffee table. I'm going to be Grand Moff Tarkin for Halloween.

One of my friends just had her Michael Jordan (23) birthday. The only thing that bothers me about that is that THAT WAS MY IDEA. And she's not even from Chicago.

Here's the scene from SLC Punk.

I think I'd like to go to Colombia

Having pierogi and vino with Tiffany. Another sweaty job search today. I need some interview clothes that are not polyester. I also need someone to take me to the mechanic so I can get the Jeep fixed.

I am currently out of shape

I went grocery shopping with Mrs. Boes today. I got some gluten-free goodies since I have thoroughly convinced myself that i have contracted Coeliac disease. I've been feeling a lot better since being wheat-free for the past two days, and I haven't had to stay in the bathroom. I'm very excited to have some sense of normalcy back about the bathroom.

Looks-wise, I have never felt more disgusting about myself than today. With my hair changing and my weight fluctuating, I feel mighty unattractive. I wish this major weight loss would kick in already, but I believe that my medications are preventing me from going any lower than the weight that I am at, which is staggeringly more than most people would care to guess.

I just went on a run/walk/run up the parking garage. I made note that the parking garage would be a great place to tan. This very little bit of exercise not on a machine kicked my ass, and I am currently sweating typing this. I just drank two glasses of water, which will inevitably cancel out how many Diurex I took this morning. My kick is horrendous and I am embarrassed of my attempt at a sprint.

It would be nice if I could actually see some results already.

Whiskey on a Sunday

I really need to pluck my eyebrows.

I'm sick of using the telephone to talk to Eric.

Frustrated.

Vintage!

If I have to deal with one more slutty girl, I will throw up. Last night Aubrey, Ash, and I among others went to the Mineshaft to get our lady-dance on. Kelzey, a girl that Eric knows, who has tried to start things with me before, and who I very much do not like tried to start something with me by texting him and telling him I was doing things I shouldn't be. All this girl does is stand around being butt-ugly and wanting to fuck my boyfriend. Among the two other slutty girls I come in contact with or have to live with knowing they are still in existence, make me so sick. I don't understand how you can have such little self-respect to realise that guys are only talking to you because you're like the town bicycle; everyone has had a free ride.

Eric got mad at me for calling at bitching her out. I couldn't help it. I am so sick of girls thinking that they can talk to my boyfriend in a sexual way and there be no reprocussions from me. I've been through Hell for and with this boy, and I'm not letting this go that easily. The 'scene,' for lack of a better word, is so disgusting. Just because you have tattoos does not make you exciting. Just because you can drink a lot does not make you cool. I had so much fun with Ash and Aub making hand gestures for 'Too Legit to Quit' than I had the entire time I was at the bar. Indianapolis has a lot of potential. Its a beautiful city. It just happens to have quite a large slut problem.

Side note: I do not want Aubrey to move! I better get really accquainted with SouthWest Airlines.

Seriously, unless we're friends, I don't want to hear about my relationship. Don't talk about it, don't think about it, and maybe drink some of the anti-freeze in your parent's garage.

Very Ingrid Bergman

Watching Project Runway at Aub's right now. She's still asleep, we had a long night of rum and scratched DVDs with poor sound quality. I very much enjoy being in Indianapolis right now, and I really don't want to end up going home tonight! I value Aubrey's friendship a lot, and everyone I've met has been so nice.

Here are some examples of rum and more rum.

I found out some bad stuff about Eric. I was so upset, and ended up on the patio with my black girl hand waving in the wind. Its so difficult to have to think that he would be tempted by another girl. This has happened so many times before. It just hurts. I'm not angry anymore, but I keep picturing him doing something stupid over and over. I love him too much. I'm still a little bit upset and a lot of bit disappointed.

I don't want Cho to come pick me up! I don't want to go back to Lafayette. There is nothing for me there. 

Oh, Kenley from Project Runway was so cute.

All your sanity and wits will vanish, I promise

I'm listening to Louis Prima's song from the Jungle Book, always a mood lifter. I had a pretty rough night after returning to the 318, of which included my crappy ass sub-leaser not being moved out, and finding a gaping hole in my windowsill that creepy-crawlies are getting into. At least I don't have a rat problem like Choseph...oh my. I had a great conversation with Aubrey tonight, and by great I mean telling each other our problems and laughing about them. Zuul from Ghostbusters is making a ruckus in my fridge. I know this because I found the last beer in the house to calm me from freaking out. I started packing, but very quickly ran out of places to put things aka boxes.

My awesome conversation came when I talked to Eric and we laughed about everything! I can't wait for him to come home. He's so much fun, and I think we really got over a big hurdle today. One being that he is HAPPY that I get to hang out with Aubrey tomorrow, and that we started talking about how he can get over disliking Ben. I think that anytime someone is friends, more than friends, being a stupid idiot with someone else, there is so much emotion attached to it that it just takes time. I hope everything is over soon. I'm over it. I mean, he has nothing to worry about. I sit at home alone in Lafayette eating Lean Cuisines and watching trashy TV. Speaking of, I need to cancel the Comcast. I'm glad that he is so dedicated to just getting his job done on tour and not being an immature child about being around new girls every night. I had a good talk with his mom today, hah. And I will not tell him what we talked about. I know he's reading this, so I'll let you know that it was all good stuff.

So excited for tomorrow!

Flash Flood Warning

Casey, Katy, and I just creeped the Greater Lafayette area.

Its going to be so fun to live with them in July.

100% Recycled Awesome

I am in West Lafayette, Indiana. I am on the 3rd floor of an apartment complex. It is raining cats and dogs, and my right middle finger is infected from pulling out a hang nail. This makes it difficult to type. There might be a tornado later. Who knows. I have a bag packed of all of the important things in my apartment including J. Pies, my Star Wars collection, my wallet, and other things of sentimental value. It would be amazing if my computer got broken and insurance could get me a new one due to rain damage or something. I have my scapular on. Lindsey contacted me last night at 2:00 am to make plans to exchange items of ours. I have not heard anything back, and I am not making the effort to again. Its been very difficult dealing with that situation, and I don't want to deal with it anymore. Everyone else on God's green Earth are sick of hearing about how fucked that situation is. I don't feel like I learned anything from it except that some people simply try too hard. Before this contact, I had not heard from her since our text fight last Thursday, and have not heard from Ben in a month. I suppose that's a good thing, so I have gotten over it, but get back to me on how losing two friends is ever a good thing.

Three minutes into writing this, it has begun hailing again.

I am packing up all of my clothes and looking to box up my belongings now so that it will be much simpler to make my move. I applied for three jobs today, and am anxious to hear back from them. I had a virus on my computer today as well, and luckily I believe Norton has taken care of it.

I am going to Indy tomorrow to hang out with Aubrey and Ash. I am really looking forward to it. Aubrey and I got off to a VERY rough start, but I am lucky to have her as a friend now. I just wish this had happened some years ago, since ol' girl is moving to Arizona soon.

I hope to make this different from my other blog by incorporating more of my personal experience into it. I take inspiration from Lester Bangs, as he said, "I know you think those guys are your friends. You wanna be a true friend to them? Be honest, and unmerciful."

Blogspot?

I have too many blogs.

Also at http://kimmi-page.tumblr.com