24 August

I'm not even going to pretend that I wrote down what I was eating Wednesday and yesterday. Wednesday someone smashed into my Jeep and I've been a mess ever since. 

Breakfast:

10 corn chips, 140 kcal

Trader Joe's Hot Salsa 20 kcal

24 oz coffee

1 clementine 35 kcal

Lunch:

Roasted eggplant, carmelized onion, tomato chutney, fontina sandwich on GF bread. ??? kcal

21 August

Breakfast:

24 oz coffee

Lunch:

Jimmy John's Club Lulu on wheat 566 kcal

20 August

Breakfast:

24 oz coffee

Lunch:
Barbacoa burrito bowl from Chipotle 540 kcal

Dinner:
Sm spaghetti & meatballs from Noodles, green salad 700 kcal
3 Brooklyn Brown Ales 570 kcal

Total:
1810 kcal

Obviously I have no groceries. And I shouldn't have drank those delicious beers.

19 August

Lunch: 

1/2 breakfast burrito 500 kcal

Dinner:

Cream of chicken soup 1/4 cup 300 kcal

1/2 hot italian sandwich 400 kcal

Total: 1200 kcal

18 August

Breakfast:
Venti Iced coffee (black) Sbux 6 kcal
6 Boneless buffalo wings 500 kcal
Ranch dressing 150 kcal

Dinner:
2 shrimp tacos with salsa verde 398 kcal
LOTS OF DRINKS.

Total: 1054 food, drinks unknown

17 August

Breakfast:

24 oz coffee

Lunch:

Subway Cold Cut Combo on wheat with pepperjack cheese 790 kcal

I barely ate anything yesterday, so I decided to splurge. I won't have a chance to eat until tomorrow with the show tonight. SUE ME.

Dinner:

Tom Yum soup 280 kcal

16 August

Breakfast:

24 oz coffee

Lunch:

Sbux Protein Bistro Box 340 kcal

Sbux Venti iced coffee, 2 equal, lite ice 6 kcal

Snack:

1/2 bag pretzels 115 kcal

Spicy mustard 5 kcal

Pre-dinner 466kcal

Dinner:

3 eggs 306 kcal

1 oz pot roast 160 kcal

Total: 932 kcal

15 August

Breakfast:
24 oz coffee
1 nectarine 63 kcal


Lunch:
Chipotle Burrito Bowl with Chicken, fajitas veggies, cheese, rice 530 kcal
Rockstar Sugar Free 20 kcal

Pre dinner total: 613 kcal

Dinner:
4 oz salmon, grilled: 232 kcal
Romaine salad with 2T lite italian, 60 kcal
1 hard boiled egg, no yolk 17 kcal
2 cubes colby jack cheese 134 kcal
Diet Coke

Total: 1056 kcal

14 August

Breakfast:
24 oz coffee
1 nectarine 63kcal

Lunch:
Trader Joe's Palak Paneer 500kcal
(Ok, I didn't realize this meal was so much. Honestly why make a frozen meal if HALF is a serving?)

Dinner:
Footlong Veggie Delight from Subway, wheat bread, pepperjack cheese: 560 kcal.
(I meant to save half of this sandwich for my lunch tomorrow. It didn't happen. I have no self-control. I also make this sandwich too delicious. I swear the only condiment you ever need is vinegar.)

Club soda, rum & mint: 70kcal

Total: 1193 kcal

13 August

Breakfast:

48 oz. coffee

1 med apple 65kcal

1 nectarine 63 kcal

Lunch:

Sbux Protein Bistro Box 340 kcal

Sbux skinny vanilla latte iced venti 110kcal

Pre-dinner- 578kcal

Snack:

1/2 avocado 80 kcal

Dinner:

4oz shawarma 280 kcal

1/3 cup saffron rice 80kcal

2 cubes feta 90kcal 

1108 kcal total. 

10 Aug

I don't think anyone realizes how much being in Indy is depressing to me. I'm having issues getting out of bed or finding any motivation to do anything but drink and forget that I'm here. So few things have made me happy lately that I've shut a lot of people out. I have a short fuse, and I get upset at the smallest things. I don't even feel like it's worth it to mend friendships that once were more important because all I've learned from my time here is that no matter if you are a loser who had a kid at 18, or you go out and spend all your money on booze every night, having really shitty tattoos, riding a bike with no brakes, and going to the "hip" bars means you're ok and everyone should like you. This place is a brain drain black hole.

Fuck that. Fuck this town.

27 June

Breakfast:

24 oz coffee

8 oz Bolthouse Berry Boost

I actually took my viatmins today: TJs Women's Formula, biotin, Calcium, B complex

Banana (organic)

Lunch:

Spinach salad with chicken, feta, olives, tomato, banana pepper, lemon juice as dressing

CLC

Snack:

Envirokids bar

CLC

Banana

Dinner:

5 oz salmon

1/2 avocado

celery

tomatoes

So I might be allergic to something in the Bolthouse C-Boost juice, or I got a bad batch this time. Every time I had it, I threw up violently. I kept drinking it because the first time I was super hungover. I don't know, it tastes really good, I might give it another try. I'm a sucker for punishment anyway. Working so much is really running me down, and I'm not sure about some of the new staff that has been hired at my pub job. Desk job is the same everyday, and I wish I could work out more. I constantly fidget to try and lose weight. Mistakenly got on the scale last night, and it basically ruined my life. I feel so much thinner, but the number didn't reflect that at all. 

26 June

Slacking on updates.

Breakfast:
24 oz coffee
8 oz Bolthouse Berry Boost

Lunch:
Iced Coffee from Sbux, Venti
Sbux Tarragon Chicken Salad sandwich.

Snack:
2 CLCs
3/4 c Gorilla Munch Cereal

Dinner:
2 pc salmon nigiri
8 pc California tuna roll

Late night:
1/4 cup rigatoni with pesto
1 mini bagel with sauce and cheese
2 glasses Cab


Starbucks didn't have the protein box yesterday, so I was forced to get a sandwich. Also, as one of my tumblr followers pointed out, I shouldn't be eating entirely gluten free since I haven't been tested yet. I need to continue having antibodies. So I still am eating mostly gluten free,  but am eating gluten sometimes.

20 June

Breakfast:
12 oz Bolthouse smoothie
24 oz coffee

Snack:
CLC
EnviroKids bar 120 kcal

Lunch:
2 sushi rolls, 1 seaweed wrapped/ 1 spicy salmon roll
CLC

Snack:
1 cup spinach with lemon juice
24 oz lemon water

19 June

This body. 

Breakfast:
Banana
24 oz. coffee
1 c. Hemp Milk
3 pieces Salami
12 oz Bolthouse Strawberry Banana Smoothie

Lunch:
4 sm balls of fresh mozz
4 grape tomatoes
3 pieces salami

Snack:
EnviroKids bar

Dinner:
2 Coconut LaCroix
Diet Coke
6 pcs Sunset Roll: Crab, Cucumber, Avocado, Salmon
2 pcs salmon nigiri
1/2 order seaweed salad

Nightcap:
Vodka soda

Gluten Free Madness: Check In

Gluten free is EXPENSIVE. 

I spent about $80 yesterday for a week's worth or groceries. I have to take time to make my risotto tomorrow so I can take that in for lunch. I need to learn how to stretch my groceries instead of getting really excited and eating a plate of one of everything.

Really missing Luna bars and Boca spicy chkn patties. This EnviroKids bar is no substitute, and I love spicy chkn. I feel better sleep-wise even though I slept in until I was almost late this morning just because I was straight-up snuggly in my bed.

Here are some of the changes I am making:

• EnviroKids instead of Luna for breakfast. EnviroKids does not have a coconut flavor which is obviously a conspiracy against me. 
• 10 oz of Bolthouse smoothie for breakfast in addition to my usual 24 oz of coffee. I would buy a juicer right now but I don't even want to think about bringing more stuff into my possession, since I'm trying to get rid of everything for moving. 
• Quasi Atkins diet action going on. I am going to have to force myself to eat carbs. Really the only carbs I've had in the past month have been saffron rice from Poccadio and tortilla chips like once. 
• Hemp Milk instead of soy milk. It's not as sweet. Trying to stay away from soy. 

I really hope I can modify this diet into helping me lose weight as well as making me feel better. 

Fuck it, man.

I'm getting out of here.

I have great hair.

Everyone can fuck off.

My new wine glasses are so big they echo.

I am making my dreams come true, and the only person I need to prove that to is me. Friends are amazing, and have shown me more love than anyone. It's nice to have people supporting you, especially when the ones closest to you don't believe you can do anything.

See you in a week, LA.

Merp.

Sometimes I look back on most of the shit I've created and I hate it.

Practice makes perfect, and I need to practice. And hope Mulder doesn't eat my paint.